"You don't outgrow people by accident; you outgrow them by choosing growth over comfort."
Ever feel guilty for outgrowing someone who used to feel like home? That guilt comes from thinking it happened by accident, when the truth is you made a choice.
Outgrowing people feels like it sneaks up on you. One day you're close, the next you have nothing to talk about. But it's not random. Every time you chose to push yourself instead of staying comfortable, you created distance. Every book you read, every hard conversation you had with yourself, every boundary you set moved you forward. The people who stayed comfortable stayed where they were.
Growth is a series of small choices that add up. Choosing therapy over venting. Choosing accountability over excuses. Choosing to sit with discomfort instead of numbing it. Each choice moves you further from people who aren't making those same choices. It's not that you're better than them. You're just moving in a different direction.
The hardest part is realizing that staying connected would mean shrinking. You'd have to dim your growth, avoid certain topics, pretend you're still the same person you were. That's when you realize the friendship costs more than it gives. Outgrowing someone isn't cruel. It's honest. You're not rejecting them. You're choosing yourself.
Some people will grow with you. Most won't. And that's okay. Your growth doesn't require their permission or their pace.
