You are not hard to love. You are just done begging people to love you badly.
Have you ever wondered if you are just too difficult to love, when the truth is that people simply loved you carelessly?Feeling unlovable is often a side effect of tolerating low effort, inconsistent, or conditional love for too long.
Feeling like you are hard to love usually does not start with you. It starts with the way you were treated by people who did not know how to love you well. Over time, their inconsistency, criticism, or emotional distance can start to sound like proof that something is wrong with you. Eventually, you begin to confuse their limitations with your worth.
When you are used to chasing crumbs of attention, begging for reassurance, or constantly trying to prove that you are worth staying for, love becomes exhausting instead of nourishing. You start working overtime to be “easier,” “quieter,” or “less needy,” hoping that if you shrink enough, someone will finally stay. The problem is not that you are too much. The problem is that you learned to tolerate love that required you to abandon yourself.
Healthy love does not need you to perform for it. It does not demand that you silence your needs, ignore your feelings, or accept disrespect just to keep the peace. Healthy love may still be imperfect and messy, but it will feel safe, consistent, and grounded. You will not have to beg for the bare minimum or constantly question if you are asking for too much.
Raising your standards can feel scary at first because it often means losing people who were comfortable with the old version of you, the one who over-gave and under-asked. But letting go of those dynamics is not proof that you are unlovable. It is proof that you are finally willing to protect your heart. You are choosing to believe that being loved well is not a fantasy, it is a requirement.
You are not hard to love. You are just no longer available for people who only know how to love you halfway, conditionally, or when it is convenient for them. The right people will not need you to beg for the basics. They will meet you with effort, consistency, and care because they see your worth clearly, and they want to treat it with respect.
