"You don't need positivity. You need permission to admit it hurts without someone trying to talk you out of it."
Ever felt worse after opening up because someone rushed to “cheer you up” instead of actually hearing you? That isn’t support, it is emotional shutdown dressed up as positivity.
There is nothing wrong with you because you are not able to “positive-think” your way out of real pain. There is something wrong with a culture that treats discomfort like a problem to be fixed instead of a human experience to be witnessed. When you are hurting, you do not need someone to slap affirmations over your wounds. You need someone who can sit in the truth with you without trying to edit it.
Toxic positivity sounds kind on the surface. “Stay grateful. Look on the bright side. It could be worse.” But underneath, the message is clear. Your pain makes me uncomfortable, so I need you to hurry up and be okay. That is not love. That is self-protection disguised as encouragement. Real support is being willing to hear “I am not okay” and respond with “I believe you. I am here.”
You are allowed to tell the truth about how much it hurts without immediately following it with a lesson, a silver lining, or a spiritual takeaway. You are allowed to say “I am not okay right now” without apologizing or minimizing it. Your feelings do not become less valid just because someone else cannot handle them.
Inner strength is not pretending you are fine. Inner strength is being honest about your reality and refusing to gaslight yourself when others try to. When you keep forcing yourself to be “positive,” you abandon the part of you that is still bleeding. When you give yourself permission to feel, you finally stop abandoning yourself.
You do not heal by arguing with your pain. You heal by honoring it. Let your body tell the truth. Let your voice say, “This really hurt me.” The right people will not rush you out of that sentence. They will make room for it.
If you grew up being told you were “too sensitive” or that you should “get over it,” it will feel rebellious to admit you are not okay. That rebellion is healthy. You are not here to be emotionally convenient. You are here to be real.
